This might be a long one...

Everyday there is something that I am anxious to write about and most days I am just too tired to turn on the computer when I get home. There are definitely a few topics that I want to touch on, though.

First, I am having an internal struggle with spelling tests this year. I have about six kids that consistently get 100% on the spelling test each week and then there are about 7 that fail the spelling test and the other students come pretty close to passing, missing two or three (out of 8). Part of me wants to make the spelling tests easier to boost their confidence, but the other part of me knows that these words should be easy for them and that I should continue to keep the bar high. All in all, I've decided to proceed with the spelling tests as they are. These are first grade sight/high frequency words and they are words that we see often each week. Also, the students that don't do well are students that don't have help at home and making the words easier, unfortunately, won't help them to pass. I've noticed three students who are definitely improving and trying harder and harder each week and this proves that they are capable and aren't ready to give up just yet. But it's so hard to see the same students do well and the same students not do very well.

Halloween is quickly approaching and my students have been talking about it for over a month. I finally told them a few weeks ago that if they kept talking about it, we wouldn't celebrate it. That totally worked and last week a student stated that we could probably start talking about Halloween on the 28th. I just love that he picked a random date close to Halloween. I've put up fake spider webs in the class, that were bare all week, but will be covered in spiders when the kids walk in tomorrow morning.

We've been having a great time with a plastic rat that squeaks. Each morning he appears in a different student's desk. I love that something so simple makes the students so happy. He brings on great conversation too; some students know that he is fake while others wonder how he gets around in the room. I told them on Friday that it's like Toy Story, where he comes to life when we are gone and they seemed to buy it. Being a first grade teacher sure keeps me young and gets my imagination working all the time.

Lately, I have two students who have been getting on my nerves. I swear that once I work out my issues with one student, another student starts to fall apart. One student is the epitome of a perfectionist. His parents must have high expectations for him, but I also think that a lot of it is just his personality. On Thursday we take our practice spelling test. On this Thursday for some particular reason "the perfectionist" started crying, I mean really breaking down. He gets 100% every week on Thursday and I didn't understand why this group of words was any different. I ignored the sobs for a little while, but I could tell that it was bothering some of my students who were worrying about him, so I told him to take a deep breath and that if he stressed out so much it would be hard for his brain to think. Well that didn't work and the sobs got worse and worse and eventually I told him to stop or step outside and take a break. As I graded the tests later that day, I almost wished that he had done poorly to prove that stressing out makes it worse but, of course, this kid got 100%. Maybe he was having a bad day or something else was bothering him because when we took a math test the next day, he told me that he was just going to try his best.
Another student is very "busy." He can't sit still and he never stops talking even when no one is listening or he is by himself. I try to tune him out, but sometimes it even distracts me. During a math lesson last week a student pointed out that he was just playing instead of listening to the lesson. I had had it with stopping my lesson and trying to get him back on track day after day, so I explained to some of the students that it wasn't fair for him to get all my attention because he was goofing off when 20 other students could get my attention and learn. They seemed to buy it, but I'm not sure if they fully understood what I was talking about. Yes, all students should be listening, but sometimes that's next to impossible, so if I can have 19 to 20 out of 21 on task, I consider it a success.

On that note, one of my lowest students has started to come alive. He still doesn't know the sounds of all the letters, but his spirit is alive. He is more alert, pays attention more often, and is definitely trying. A few weeks ago, I wanted to throw my hands up and say that he was a lost cause, but I'm glad that I didn't because every child deserves a chance, even if they're parents don't help them out at home or if they are so low that it seems impossible to get them to where the state believes they should be. As a teacher, I want kids to get smarter, but I also want them to value school and to have fun.

I saw "Waiting for Superman" last night and really appreciated it. So well done and I agreed with the movie on so many levels. It definitely will bring about some tough conversations, which will hopefully be the starting point to making a change in our education system.

In the Groove...

I've been needing and wanting to blog for the past couple of weeks, but the days and weeks are passing so quickly.

My class is doing well and we are definitely finding a routine that works for all of us. My "busy" students are relaxing a little bit and it's helped to move them around, trying out different seating arrangements. I'm hoping that I can keep the seating chart the way it is for at least another month!
I hate to admit it, but there are already students who are my "favorites" and those that are already annoying me. But I am aware of my differing feelings and do my best to treat them all equally. One student irritates me because she is always worrying about someone or something other than what I am talking about. I constantly have to redirect her or take things away that are distracting her. Academically, she is pretty much where she should be, but I can see her behavior hindering her and maybe that's where my frustration comes in. Basically, whenever I feel annoyed with her, I think about her home life and realize that she has so many other things to worry about and can't just shut her mind off and focus. And when she is having a great day, I let her know.
Being a teacher is definitely about finding a balance in the classroom and within yourself. Imagine being poked by someone for 6 hours everyday and not being able to lose your cool! I think teaching has taught me to express myself more easily and to tell people what bothers me, but also complimenting people has become so much easier. I tell my students at least a couple times during the day that they are a great class, not because I am bribing them, but because they really are and this carries into my personal life. I more easily tell friends and family what I like about them or if I like what they are wearing.

My class is a mixture of all different ability levels and I have about 4 overachievers. One is very competitive with others and with himself. And yesterday, after lunch, as I was reading a story and settling the class down after recess, "O" raised his hand and asked when we were going to get back to "the work." This sort of annoyed me because I wanted the children to get a break from the monotony of the day and just relax and here was the student wanting to work, work, work. I appreciate his tenacity, but I also want him to take a breather sometimes. However, I have no doubts that this student will go far in life, no matter what stands in his way.

Tomorrow is picture day. I told the students to look nice, so now the question is, "What do I wear?"...

Kids say the Darndest Things

I am really enjoying my class; although, the exhaustion is setting in. Keeping up with 22 first graders is difficult, especially at this time of year. I love all their little personalities and it's funny how I can almost get a glimpse of the people they will be when they grow up. This year, I have a lot of helpers and I mean that in a really good way. I was having trouble with a student playing in the bathroom. He was our bathroom buddy, but wasn't doing the best job, so I fired him and explained to the class that it was important to do a good job and that I needed to trust them. The boy didn't seem to phased by the loss of the job, and the student who replaced him was so excited that he kept asking if he would still have the job the next day. I love the enthusiasm. Anyway, back to my helpers. One boy had noticed that "A" kept playing in the bathroom, so he offered to watch him and to make sure that he didn't play. This student reported back to me at the end of every recess today to tell me that "A" didn't play. This is not something that I taught, but I think that the students can tell that I want them to help each other and of course they get lots of praise from me when they do something nice.

The funniest thing that I heard today was a conversation that took place after reading the poem, "Hey Diddle, Diddle." We were talking about the illustrations and one student asked why the cow had a space suit on. I briefly talked about how there isn't any air in space and that without air, we would die. All of a sudden I hear, "like Michael Jackson" and then another student says, "No, he got too many drugs," while another said, "No, he had a heart attack." I wanted to laugh, but I was also amazed that 6 year-olds were having such an adult conversation. And it's not like that's a recent news story. I just love what goes on in their heads and what they choose to share with the class.

The week is going by quickly, which is a good thing. I spent most of Friday, Monday, and Tuesday giving CELDT tests, which were not measuring language ability AT ALL!!! It took about 45 minutes to administer the test to each student and I had 11 to give. So, most of my class got busy work, while I focused on giving the test one-on-one. And what is more frustrating is that the test is meant to find out the English proficiency of Spanish speaking students, but asks students, who have not learned to read or write, to do just that. I wish that I could have taken a picture of the looks that some of the students gave me when I asked them to write their answers. They did the best that they could, but, in my opinion, it was a total waste of instruction time. One student even asked when we would go back to our regular routine (the one we only had for 4 days)!
Well, it was back to business as usual and they fell back into it much easier than I had anticipated.

School is back in session!

Today was the first day of school and I couldn't be happier with the way that it went.

My busy weekend helped to keep the nerves away until last night. I felt exhausted, but the second my head hit the pillow, my mind started wandering. I went through my to-do list in my head, I wondered what the kids would be like, I thought about old students, and I went through my schedule over and over again. And when my alarm went off, I struggled to get out of bed, but...

...the day couldn't have gone better. My roster had 19 students listed (a great number as far as I'm concerned) and just two joined us later in the morning bringing the count to 21. Most of my students were quiet and reserved, as was I (minus the good mornings and hellos). One or two seemed on the verge of crying, but never fully broke down, which was good.

They did a great job walking into the classroom, anxiously wanting to check out their desks and the classroom. I kept remarking on what a good job they were doing, encouraging the listening and following of directions. A parent dropped off their student late (coincidentally the younger sister of a former student) and remarked that I really knew what I was doing since all the students were in order and remained quiet as I answered her questions.

The day continued much in the same way as the morning. A few students started to test me, but I immediately put them in check, just being sharp and sending them to their desks. Their behavior improved and I thanked them for that.

There's not much academics on the first day, mostly rules and procedures, but the little that we did showed me that this group is very capable. One student has a lot of enthusiasm and made great comments throughout the day. He commented that everything was EXCELLENT and at the end of the day, he told me that he was going to miss me when he went home. He definitely won me over already. :)

I'm also happy to have a former student, who was retained, in my class again. While he does a lot of talking, it's nice to have a familiar face and a student that I know I can rely on.

I'm really excited about this group, I just hope that they remain as respectful as they were today, with me and with their peers.

Back to School!

I can't believe how quickly the summer passed.
At the end of last year, I really had no idea where I would be in the fall, but I am happy to announce that, at this time, I have a long-term substitute position in first grade again, at the same school that I taught at in the Spring. I am over joyed, nervous, excited, but genuinely happy about where I will be. The unfortunate thing is that it might be temporary. The politics are so confusing, but if there's a teacher that has to be placed and hasn't yet found a school, I could get bumped. But I'm thinking positively and hoping that doesn't happen to me or to the students in my class.

I set up my classroom on Tuesday and Wednesday and the teachers were back for meetings. I felt so welcome and a few teachers told me that they were happy to see me again. It's just so reassuring and it gives me encouragement to continue to do good work.

My class is ready for the students and I am anxious to meet them. I can't wait to start blogging on a regular basis and sharing some of my stories.


I'm hoping for a great year...

Summer is here!

Well, I had every intention of posting a blog at the end of the school year. I'm about 3 weeks late, but just have to share my stories.

First, let me tell you that the end of the school year is the busiest time of year. There is so much paperwork to be done and surprisingly a lot of planning. There's practice for end of the year performances and last minute tests to assess students' performance and academic ability. Everything has to be filed and the classroom has to be cleaned. What's probably the hardest for me is the emotional rollercoaster and this year more so than the last.

I realized that I loved this class. I saw so many students soar and awaken! I bonded with so many of them and honestly, I have a feeling that this class and experience will always be unforgettable. I'm never good with goodbyes and it made it even harder when my students talked about how much they would miss the class. Even though it was hard to say goodbye, it was heartwarming to know that I truly made a difference.

On the second to last day of school, we threw a party, but before the party began, we cleaned the classroom and I passed out summer work packets. I didn't even come close to finishing all of the math lessons, so I bundled them together and gave that along with the left over homework to all the kids. Believe it or not, they were so excited and it was as if they couldn't get enough work to take home. This was the best, though, one student came up to me shortly after everything was passed out and asked if he could start his work right then. "D" was one of my lowest students academically, but he has the best work ethic. He never gives up!

Somehow his work ethic was contagious that day because at one point more than half the class was sitting on the rug doing their math together. I turned to one of my aides and asked if that was something that I did or if that was normal. She told me that it was all me. Don't know how I did it, but these kids love to learn.

So now that school is out, you're probably wondering what comes next?
Well, if education was a priority in this state/country, I'd probably have a job lined up. A position was open both at my old school site and at the one I just finished working at, but HR told me that there are 200+ teachers that need to be hired before I can even be considered. You have to love how the years that you have been teaching somehow makes you a better teacher.

I've filed for unemployment and just hope for another long-term position in the fall. Until then, I'll be enjoying my city, hanging out with friends, and creating pillows, blankets, and scarves for my ETSY shop, CowanCreations...

Day 62 - The End is Near!!

Every day, I have moments that I want to write about. Unfortunately, I have been so busy and exhausted that even turning on the computer seems like too much work.
There are five days left of school and I am filled with mixed emotions, but most of all, I'm filled with absolute exhaustion. For the kids, the end of the year is mostly relaxing. More time for P.E., more movies, and more art. The teachers, however, have mounds of paperwork and cleaning up to do. On top of that I am feeling slightly disappointed with the work that many of my students are producing at this time of year.
I gave the students the end of the year language arts test, which tests them on reading comprehension, spelling, matching words with what is
happening in various pictures, writing, and reading fluency (how many words they can read per minute). They have these types of test every six weeks and they get progressively more difficult. It's crazy what our state expects students to be able to do.
A first grader at the end of the year should read 60 words per minute, be able to write a paragraph, and fully understand what they read. This may be possible for some students, but most are not ready to perform at this level. Out of 24 students, only 6 passed the writing portion and probably only 9 or 10 are reading at the suggested level of 60 wpm.
What I have learned at this time of year is to really cherish the accomplishments that my students have made and not compare them to what the state expects them to do. For example, when I walked into this classroom 62 school days ago, many students had shut down and very few could read. Now, I have students who participate in class, who can read better, and who have a new sense of confidence.

I've really connected with my students and all in all, I'm proud of most of them. A few still irritate me and have made little progress, but as a whole, I feel truly blessed to have been a part of these children's lives. I can only hope that their teacher next year can appreciate and motivate them.
I just have to share a funny event that happened yesterday. It's been a while since I've shared a quote of the day or written about a specific student, but yesterday's event stands out to me. There is one student in particular who is a constant interruption  to our class. By this time of year, I have little patience for her behavior, as does the rest of the class. As usual, she was talking while I was talking and I had already told her to be quiet. The students were at their desks and I was conducting the lesson at the front of the class. "B" kept talking and I just ignored her and tried to keep the lesson going, but the other students sensed my frustration and so "E" blurts out, "Shut up, "B"!" I kept a straight face, while other students laughed or were shocked. Normally I would shut down that kind of talk, but that student had every right to express his frustration and he doesn't normally misbehave, do the one slip was okay.

Today we were celebrating someone's birthday and his mom had brought cupcakes. The kids always get excited, but "B" was especially excited because food was involved. In case you haven't read earlier posts, this student has stolen food from me and other students and has been known to go back for seconds and thirds during lunch. She definitely has a problem. So, as the cupcakes were being passed out, she apparently stuffed one in her face and then proceeded to grab another one. I was unaware of this, but another student let me know and I took the second cupcake away from her. She seemed shocked that she couldn't have two and didn't seem to comprehend that by her taking another one it wasn't fair to the rest of the class. Luckily she still had a bag of chips and a juice that she could talk about and eat. And after school she had ran and told a student in a different class about the food, so the two of them were trying to sneak in my classroom to get it. I just get so mad and frustrated at the same time. And now I'm just worried about our class party next week. We'll have to keep our eye on her instead of relaxing and enjoying a nice lunch together.
But I'm concentrating on the positive and I'm so happy that I had the opportunity to bring some sunshine into these kids' lives after a traumatic few months with their previous teacher.

Tunnel Picture from: realty4Atlanta.com
Shut Up Picture from: evonseah.blogspot.com

Sunshine picture from: imcrb.org

Day 52 - The World is a Rainbow!

I originally came up with the title for this blog last week, when the world was bright and I was feeling optimistic.

It's not that I'm not optimistic anymore, but today the students somehow realized how little school is left. They were chattier than usual, they weren't listening to my directions very well, and they were forgetting some of our every-day routines. It was so frustrating.

I probably haven't really raised my voice in a week or two, compared to an almost every day occurrence when I first stepped into the classroom. Today, I not only raised my voice, it became a scream. I love my class, really enjoy them, but there are a few students who just get on my nerves and after dealing with the same behavior day in and day out, my tolerance level gets smaller and smaller.

On a positive note, I am really connecting with a student of mine who was almost robotic when I first started in the classroom. She rarely spoke, rarely paid attention in class, and never raised her hand to participate. She could have almost gone unnoticed except for the fact that she is the tallest student in the class. She has always been respectful, but I learned last week that she is also hilarious. Some of the things that she says are weird, but she can crack me up like no one else. And she does it with such ease. When the day feels long or I'm frustrated, I just turn to her to bring a smile to my face.

There's another reason that this student makes me so happy. She is a perfect example of how one teacher can make a difference. In March, she really couldn't participate in much. She couldn't read much of anything, even the word "the" and could barely do addition. Now, she's sounding out words, reading simple sentences, and has this skill for mathematics. She is happy and participating and becoming successful. Granted, she is nowhere near ready for second grade and may have a learning disability, but she has come so far in such a short period of time.

On tough days, I look at the students who are growing, both physically and academically. I really am wowed by my class these days, even if some of them are driving me up the wall.

Last week, to celebrate the end of our healthy living unit, I brought a healthy snack to share with the kids.

They were really into learning about the different food groups and talking about different foods that they eat, so I spent my own money (which didn't end up being all that much for 23 students) and bought some snack foods.

I brought one food from each group: apples, string cheese, lunch meat, carrots, cheese its, and chocolate pudding. We talked about where the food groups fit in and then we ate slowly, enjoying the food.

Some of the kids told me that I was the best teacher ever and others talked about how good the food was. A few students even asked me where I bought everything and I was happy to say that I got everything at a local grocery store and that they could tell their parents to buy them the very same foods.

The aftermath of our snack has been great. One student brought graham crackers and pretzels for snack yesterday and another asked her mom if she could bring a pasta salad. I love that the kids are so into being healthy and sharing food with the class.

The positives are definitely outweighing the negatives, I'm excited for the end of the year, but also sad that my time with this class is almost up.
15 more days left...

Day 43 - Teacher Appreciation

I can't believe it's been so long since my last entry. It's been busy and the end of the year is near, so I just don't have as much energy as I did a couple of months ago.

Last week was teacher appreciation week and I was just overwhelmed by the gifts that my students and their families brought me. It's so hard when I don't speak much Spanish and they don't speak much English, I wish that I could communicate better and have a stronger relationship with my students' parents. I guess I realized last week that they really appreciate what I'm doing.

Also, last week, while in a meeting with a parent, I learned that one of my students is now excited to go to school every morning. With the first teacher that he had, it was hard to get him out of bed and to school, and now as he and his mother walk to school he is excited and wants to pick flowers to bring to me. It brought the mom to tears telling the story and I just about lost it too. I really like my class and it's so uplifting to know that I am making a difference in their lives. 

As we come to the end of the year, the exhaustion hits all of us. The kids are more antsy and I just don't have the same pep that I had when I first took over the class. One of my students told me today that they stay home when they are sick, but teachers still have to come to work. I countered her statement by saying that sometimes even teachers have to stay home.                                                   

I have wanted to work every single day until the end of the year because I know that my students are traumatized by having had too many substitutes this year, but I definitely feel like I'm getting sick again and a mental health day/day of rest is needed.

While I feel very stressed, I am also focusing on all the positive aspects that are happening in my class. Students aren't struggling quite as much, they are being nicer to each other, and they are way more motivated than they were when I first came into the classroom.

Two positive things to note from today are: two students made up their own sorting activity based on a similar activity that I showed them yesterday. We are learning about farms and we sorted animals and vegetables yesterday. We talked about how they were alike and different, so today during independent work time, these students put the cards face down, so only the words showed. One student held up either the card that said animal or the card that said vegetable and the other student had to find a card that matched that category. It was just beautiful to watch.

Another positive thing happened after our math lesson. I've been using manipulatives a lot more lately and we are working with place value, which is not easy. We used groups of ten and ones and they got all mixed up in their individual bags. Three students decided to organize each of the bags for me (I didn't even have to ask them to do this or show them how it was done). They knew that 10 sticks went in each bag for the groups of ten and that 20 of the one's cubes went in the smaller bag. I really appreciate when students have this innate ability to keep things organized and to help out our classroom.

I just can't wait to see these kids in 10 years!!!

Day 32 - Open House!

 I'm not sure if I should start with the good news or bad news of the day, so maybe I'll just start with the bad because so much of the day was great!
Well, one of my students stole from my classroom today. It made me so furious and I know that it's going to sit with me for a while. This student tends to lurk around the classroom as I walk the other students out to the gate when school is out. Then I walk students to the office when their parents don't come to pick them up and this other student will often times be near the classroom. Today, she claimed to need to use the restroom, but looked suspicious. A few minutes later, a teacher from the after school program called me to ask if I had given this student cookies. So, I checked my grocery bag and sure enough, she didn't steal just one box of cookies, but two.
I brought these cookies because tomorrow is my birthday and I promised the students that I would celebrate with them and bring treats. The student that took them, didn't even know they were in there and she didn't take the muffins that were on the top of the bag, telling me that she went through stuff, didn't just take the first thing and to top it off, when I got more of the story, she had taken one box and then told the teacher that she forgot something in the classroom and ran back and took the second box.
Long story short, I called her mom and she is dealing with her tonight, but I am still so pissed. How dare a student take something from me when I would never do that to anyone!
So, now that I've gotten that off my chest, here comes the good news.
Tonight was Open House. I pushed the kids so much last week to get work done and I was so happy with how the room looked. I took a few pictures, but it only gives you a small idea of how everything looked.
The parents arrived a little before 5:30 and it was so neat to see the students taking their parents around the room and showing them all the work that they had done.

Here is a picture of some of the sunflowers that we did. I actually measured the students' height and put their picture in the middle. On the leaf above, they wrote a sentence or two to describe what they looked like.

This is our bulletin board from Earth Day! Which I am so proud of.

One of the things that really touched me was that a student walked around the room with so much excitement and later came back to me to say that he is getting better at reading. It was neat to see him so proud of himself and it made me so happy to hear that he can feel a difference.

So many students were filled with excitement as they showed their parents where they sit, the work that they've finished, and where other students sit. A few parents told me that the room looked beautiful, which just felt wonderful.

We re-created Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" with pastels. As you can see, some are very abstract.
 





All in all, I feel really good about the work that I'm doing. And even though there are some things and students whose actions are really bothering me, I'm focusing on the positive and on the students who I know I can make a difference with!

Day 28 - Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day!
It's been a crazy, long, tiresome week. I'm not sure if it's the weather or the fact that Open House is next week or that the kids already sense that the end of the year is almost here, but they were crazy this week.
I found myself in a bad mood and frustrated with their lack of motivation and their lack of ability to follow directions, but I decided that I needed to find something during the day that made me smile and made me proud.
It's so easy to focus on what's wrong and which students are driving me crazy, but it's more important to focus on what's right.
I had a moment of peace yesterday that I really appreciated. The wind was going crazy outside as the kids had their lunch recess. Two students had come in to the classroom, while recess was still going on, saying that they saw a "twister." Of course, one of them was "E" as student that I've mentioned before and one that always brings a smile to my face. The students went back outside and I could catch a glimpse of them as I made copies in the copy room. They were spinning around near where they saw the "twister" and pretending to get pushed around by it. I'm smiling again just thinking about it. I wish as adults, we could let our imaginations take off and enjoy simple moments like that.
Today, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed again and found it really hard to start my day. I do my best not to take my moods out on the kids and I tell myself to focus on the positive. Well, positive it turned out to be.
Yesterday 13 students (more than half) didn't bring all of their homework, but today EVERYONE brought it. I guess the lecturing eventually got to them. Even though I still felt in a bad mood, I did my best to tell them how proud I was of them and that I hoped that every morning they would do their work quietly and have their homework ready.

Most of the day was our usual routine, but we had the last portion of our Language Art's OCR test to take. There's a comprehension section, spelling, word reading, writing, and fluency. I saved the hardest part for last, writing. I prepped them for the assignment briefly and then they were on their own.
Most of them wrote for about 30 minutes and only three really "gave up" and didn't completely finish. I stopped them after an hour, but I have to say that my class has NEVER been that quiet for that long. I guess we should do writing "tests" more often.

Since it was Earth day, I wanted to take the time to celebrate and do a little science and social studies. There are so many great resources online. I really like edhelper.com, but there are other great sites as well. I printed out a booklet about the three R's for them and we read it as a class. They took it home to share with their families. Also, I found a great bulletin board idea, which was handy because I wanted more decoration for the room for Open House. We came up with two lists, as a class. One listed the things that are precious on the Earth and the other list was ways that we could help the Earth. They were so into contributing that I actually had to stop them so that we could go to lunch.
When we came back from lunch, I didn't read them a story and we didn't do math right away. We continued our project about the Earth. Each student received a picture of a flower and a leaf. On the flower petals they wrote precious things about the Earth and on the leaf they wrote how they would help the Earth. They worked so well that I almost didn't want to stop them and start math, but I needed to so that they could do their math homework tonight.
Changing the schedule today helped us, being more flexible and complimentary made the day go by smoothly, and when we started our math lesson, we were able to move very quickly because everyone was engaged. What a great day in what has otherwise been a really rough week!
Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!!!!

Day 26 - Is it the weekend yet?

So just as I'm thinking that everything is going so smoothly in my class and students are making progress, they have to regress. My behavior problems are back to their old antics, my students who were struggling are back to cheating and guessing and NOT doing their homework and the listening skills have gone down the tubes. Maybe it was a case of the Tuesdays? Maybe the 45 minutes of rain threw them off. Who knows? All I know is that I am super disappointed and very frustrated.
It's very ironic, though, that after long, frustrating days, I'm ready to plan more exciting activities and I'm willing to stay late at school.
I guess that I was inspired by another teacher's classroom. She had student work covering every wall and with open house coming up in a week, I suddenly started panicking. I really don't have to stress too much, though. I only came into the classroom about a month ago. I spent the first two or three weeks cleaning out the junk and I spend so much time catching the students up on work that was missed for the first 4 or 5 months of school, that there isn't a lot of time for art or extra work beyond math and reading and writing. Even writing takes forever to finish. Hopefully tomorrow we will be done with our writing assignments and will finish our art projects (recreating Van Gough's sunflowers).

I'm a perfectionist and I know what these kids are capable of, so it's just frustrating to see them falling short or losing motivation. I can only hope to start fresh tomorrow and that it will be a better day!

Day 22 - A Trip to the Zoo

What a great day!

The kids have been so excited about our field trip since they found out about it a week ago. You never know how a class will behave on a field trip, but I was really proud of how well they did.

They sat on the bus nicely, with a few reminders to keep their feet in front of them. Plus, for the first time in my life, we were on a bus with seat belts, which helped to keep them in their seats. A few kids actually fell asleep on our way to the zoo and one student kept asking me over and over again if we were there yet. Classic!

We arrived at the zoo with a few parents in toe, who had followed the bus. I had two aides with me, so there was more than enough adult supervision. I instilled the partner system before we even left the school and so it was really easy to keep track of the students.

We had a lot of animals to see and only two hours to do it in. I pretty much stuck to the map and what worked for me and seemed to work for the class and the other first grade class that was following us was to see the animal(s), watch for a minute or two, and then line up again to see the next animal. My idea was to keep the students moving, but not leave anyone behind. So basically we would all line up at the fence or glass wait for a minute and then I would ask everyone to line up next to their partner.

Both my aides complimented me on my tour guide skills. :)
I was so happy that my students responded to my voice and directions so well.
It was nice to see most of the animals out, but many animals seemed sickly or lethargic and the weather couldn't have been any better. The sun was out (enough to give me a slight sunburn) and the air was cool, but not cold.

We did a lot of walking, up hill, down hill, around corners, over bridges, and as we seemed to get to the last of the animals that we wanted to see, we started to make our way back to the exit to meet the bus. We had about 15 minutes left before the bus was picking us up and then I realized that the path that we were going to take back was closed and we pretty much had to walk all the way back, the same way that we had come. I can't say how proud of my students, I am. So many were starving (I just don't understand why parents don't feed their kids breakfast) and so many were ready to sit down and rest. We walked as fast as we could and made it to the exit just five minutes late. Whew!!!

We boarded the bus for a short ride to the park to eat lunch. Lunch was nice and then before you knew it, it was time to get back on the bus and go back to school.

I love the bus ride back to school after a field trip. The students are super tired and the excitement has finally worn off. The bus gets quiet as students fall asleep. I just love it and feel this sense of relaxation and accomplishment.

We got back to school, I handed out popsicles, and we watched a movie. It was a great end to a great day.

Some highlights along the way:
- A student who often annoys me in class with his talking out of turn sat near me on the bus and we had some great conversations. He told me that I'm a good teacher and that he has a lot of fun in class. He also asked if I would miss the class when the year was over and if I would cry. It was so sincere and honest and it's the most maturity that I've seen from him.
- On our bus ride to the zoo, a few students decided to play a game called, "making patterns." They took turns saying patterns to each other. It melted my heart.
- On the way back to school a couple students were practicing their counting.

I just love how inspired the students suddenly seem to be. I'm so proud of them and how far we've come in the 22 days we've been together. I wish that we had more than two months left together.
I wish that everyone could experience the passion that I feel about teaching.

Day 18 - Inspiration!

Day 17 was actually my day of inspiration and rewards, but today was pretty good too!

The school that I am working at has been more than welcoming and they continue to "wow" me with how much they are supporting me and really supporting their students.

I have seen so much growth in just the small time that I've been with these kids. It truly inspires me and keeps me wanting to teach.


Yesterday started out just like any other; however, the students seem to be working more quietly these days and doing a better job of following directions. It makes my life so much easier and it allows us to learn more during the day.

The kids were so excited because I had promised them that we would plant sunflowers that day. One of my teacher's aides took the students two by two to plant their seeds. It was so neat to see them smile and a few mentioned that they had never planted anything before. All day the kids kept asking me if their sunflowers had grown yet! It was so cute. I told them that it would take at least a week, so hopefully all goes well and the sunflowers begin to grow.

After lunch, I read them a story and then it's math time. I had looked at the quarter test that I have to give them next week and realized that they really only knew half of the material. So, how could I possibly teach them everything they needed to know and stay on track with our daily math? Well, luckily I had two aides in the classroom and created 4 different groups based on ability. I gave each group a cute animal name so that the students would always remember what group they were in and get a little excited about it.

Our math lesson on patterns went well, so I explained how the groups would work. I started out with my highest group working independently on their desk with a packet of math practice. I took a group to teach them about the "tens" and "ones" place, another group learned about time, and the other group worked with flash cards to get better at adding and subtracting. We had about 20 minutes of group time and my group was so attentive and so motivated. I started simple and then gradually asked them to work harder. Eventually, I used a white board to draw examples of how we see "tens" and "ones" in every day life. It took a while for the students to see how to count everything up, but they never gave up. One student said that she was having so much fun. As soon as one student figured it out, the rest of the group wanted to keep trying until they understood it also. My heart was so warm and I felt that it was truly what teaching was all about.

I was on a natural high at the end of the day and went gushing to the principal about how great it was to have to aides and that I had created learning groups that were working really well. Apparently, I won't always have the two aides, I'll go back to just having the one next week. I guess I was getting a bit spoiled, but it made me realize that with three adults in the room, every child could have access to learning.

Today was also a good day, but yesterday will really stand out as a very proud moment in my teaching career!

Back to Work!

It's amazing what the promise of a doughnut will do. I knew that not everyone would bring their Spring Break homework back for a doughnut, but I was surprised by who really did. There were a few kids who were a given. They always turn in homework and are my overachievers, but the other students who brought back the completed work were some of my lowest students, who needed the extra practice the most. They were so cute with their doughnuts. One student took care of his all day, so that he could take it home to share with his mom and brother.

One of my students "E" says the cutest things and I wish that I could remember half of them. Part of it is in his delivery and the expressions on his face. Today at recess one of my students brought her cousin around to introduce him to me. "E" was in the class and immediately walked over and said, "Hi, I'm "E" it's nice to meet you." It just warms my heart, especially because so many of my students have learned English all on their own. Most of their parents only speak Spanish, so it's amazing that they are as fluent as they are. I'm sure that "E" saw someone on T.V. introduce themselves to someone, but it was just so confident and formal and I loved it.

Today almost felt like the first day of school. We were only on break for 9 days, but it felt longer. I felt a little rusty before the day began, but as the students trickled into the classroom, it all came back. They were on great behavior today and I really enjoy being their teacher.

"E" said to me this afternoon that he was getting smarter. I agreed and told him that I'm proud of how hard he has been working. Another struggling student walked up for me to correct her work and "E" noticed that she got all of them right. He immediately said, "She is getting smarter too!" Whatever I am doing is working and if I reach just these two students, I've done something!!!

Day 14 - Spring Break!!!!

Spring Break is here! The week felt long, but probably because I was sick and the kids were anxious. I was feeling worse this morning, so started out a little grumpy and short with the kids, but decided to make it a good day and end with excitement and pride.
I had 7 students who didn't do their homework, yesterday we didn't have any (a first since I've been there). Some kids use the excuse that they left it at home or some don't even attempt to do it. I just don't have time for excuses and want these students to get the extra practice that they need.
We took three tests today, but the rest of the day was pretty much stress free for them. Most did okay on their math tests, which felt good and I had another student get 100% on his spelling test, which is huge for him! I'm trying to cherish every little accomplishment!
After the spelling test, math test, and reading comprehension test, we finished up our crayon-resist eggs, which also turned out wonderfully. And purely by coincidence, we did a lot of patterning on them, which is our next unit in math. Way to integrate the curriculum. Yay!
We ended the day by decorating Easter baskets with tissue paper. The kids did a really nice job and took their time with them. I had one student who thought it would be a good idea to blow on all the tiny pieces and after being told not to mess up his desk, took the tissue paper in his hands and threw it up in the air. Not to smart! Can you believe that this student has trouble following directions? After the baskets were pretty much done, I put some candy in their baskets, as did one of my teacher's aides, and explained their Spring Break homework. YES, I gave them homework, but not much and it's pretty easy. These kids need all the practice they can get. I also threw in a little bribe to get more of them to actually do the work. When we return from Spring Break, I'm going to bring doughnuts and whoever does their homework gets one. I know it's not really healthy and I'll probably regret it after their sugar high, but if it's what works then I'm okay with it. I'm just afraid that a lot of the students will lose the homework with all of the millions of other papers they had to take home.
We did some Spring cleaning this morning. Their desks needed to be cleaned out and all old papers needed to get taken home. I'm trying to teach the kids to be more organized. Some are catching on quickly, while others are having a hard time with it. Guess that's the case with everyone. Some of us are neat-freaks and others are clutter bugs. :)
I'm looking forward to NINE days away from the kids. I think it will be good for all of us...

Day 13 - Let them fear my rath!

So, apparently the "Honeymoon" phase has gone away or the kids are just too anxious for Spring break. They are doing some weird things that I haven't seen before (i.e. getting up to get water without asking, getting out of their seats a lot more, and calling out without raising their hands). I decided after a really hard Tuesday, that I would have to be more stern with them. Spring break or not, I am the boss and I want them to know that.
Last Friday I got a present that so many first graders like to give - their germs. I had a sore throat on Wednesday and Thursday and by Friday it was a full-blown cold. I guess the stress of working 5 days a week, getting the classroom cleaned up, planning lessons, holding parent teacher conferences, and getting report cards got to me. It's not like I wasn't doing too much or anything. :)
So, I stayed in bed for most of the weekend and on Monday was still drained and not feeling well. I had hoped that the kids would be easy on me, but they weren't. After the hard day on Tuesday, I reflected on what I could do differently, what I liked about the class, and what I wanted to change. I didn't really come back refreshed on Wednesday because my cold still had the best of me. But I was stern and someone cut me a break - my most difficult student was absent. :) The day went more smoothly, but listening and following directions still seemed an impossible task for some.
My cold turned into a sinus infection, but with some medication, I started today with a fresh and almost clear head. My difficult student was back and was out of control from the moment the bell rang. I thought to myself that it was going to be one of those days. However, after a bout a half hour or hour of school, the student straightened herself up and was actually doing a pretty good job. I received a compliment from a school staff member that she was impressed with how quiet my class was and that they really seemed to be listening to me. That really felt good and reassuring.
The went okay, but I had to send another problem student to the office for throwing a pencil at another student's face. This isn't the first time that this student has gotten physical, he was in the office just last week for strangling a student. This student is such a disappointment to me. He's very bright, but completely unmotivated and puts his energy into bullying my students. This kid isn't even big, so I don't know who he thinks he is. He spent the better part of the day in the principal's office and the emotion in the room when he returned was priceless. Students made sounds of disappointment and weren't happy upon his return. I immediately told them that it wasn't very nice, but kids are very quick to see through the intentions of other kids and it seems that this student is not well-liked in the class (with the exception of his "girlfriend" who I caught drawing pictures of people kissing). Can I remind you all that these kids are 6!!!
Because it is almost Spring break and the kids really need to be introduced to art, I planned a crayon-resist art lesson. I already realized that I cut the eggs to big and it's taking them forever to finish drawing patterns inside the eggs, let alone coloring it, and then painting with watercolor. But they need the exposure and I need the experience. So, it's almost the end of the day, we've finished math, and the kids are antsy, even though they are supposed to be working on their eggs. I've had it, I've reached my limit, the student that had spent most of the day in the principal's office was up making trouble, I'm trying to correct math papers with other students, and so I look over him and scream at the top of my voice, "I TOLD YOU TO SIT AT YOUR DESK AND WORK ON YOUR EGG!!!" The class went completely silent and stayed that way for the next 20 minutes. My aide told me that she heard some students say that they had never seen me that mad. So, maybe some of them will think twice before crossing me next time. The student that I screamed at seemed stunned and embarrassed, as he should be. Kids like him just get on my nerves, with so much potential and using it in all the wrong ways. I'm sure his home life doesn't help, but he's just a thorn in my side and one that I'll have to deal with for the next 14 weeks.
Only 7 students got stickers at the end of the day for good behavior, where usually the whole class has straightened up their behavior and receives a sticker. I just hope that seeing me in a different light will help our classroom. I'm working the kids really hard and some are responding so well to it. Tomorrow is the last day before Spring break and I've already decided that besides the two tests that the kids will be taking, it will be a pretty easy day. More art and more fun and hopefully less yelling.
To end on a positive note, one of my students who has been struggling, got 100% on his spelling test today. He kept spelling the words to me this morning and I hoped that all his hard work would pay off. He said that his dad would be so happy and I have to say that it has made me so happy and so proud of the progress that he's already made.

Day 8 - Parent Conferences

Well, I've been making a lot of progress in and with the classroom. It's not a junkyard anymore, just a few areas of clutter. I'm getting the kids used to my routines and they're responding very well. This Friday, report cards are due. Thank goodness I have prior experience with doing them because it's quite an ordeal. I have very little grades to go off of, a lot of the grades are coming from observations that I've made and a little bit of work that the kids have done with me. So, luckily, I created a spreadsheet to make grades easier last year, and I just pulled it up again and was able to have my grades done relatively quickly.
Parent-Teacher conferences started yesterday. I've been really happy and a bit surprised by the turn-out. The parents seem nice and genuinely seem to care. I have three students that I am recommending to repeat first grade. It's such a tough decision and one this is ultimately up to the parents, but these students aren't reading and 2nd grade would be so difficult for them. Better to have them repeat and build more confidence and hopefully have a more successful time in class. One conference was heart-breaking. The mother is doing the best she can, knows that her child is struggling, and has absolutely no support from her husband. I just can't imagine being in her position and my heart just goes out to her for trying to keep it together and do right by her children. Being a parent is definitely not easy, especially when your child is struggling or has special needs and if the parents are together, they should act as a team and support one another.
One of the joys of being back in the classroom is all the germs. Students cough in my face, don't cover their mouth when sneezing and don't do a good enough job of washing their hands. So, I'm coming down with a cold. My throat is killing me and my nose is a little runny. Of course, I can't take a day off, so I'm so thankful that tomorrow is Friday.

Day 4

Well, I made it through the week with my new class. The first day went really well and so did the second. On the third day, they began to test me. Of course I won, but that's always the case when it's kids against adults. I know that they will continue to test me for at least the next week or two and some might test me for longer. They want to know how far they can push me, they want to see what they can get away with. Yes, I am a nice teacher, but only when I am being respected and as they learned on Thursday, I decide when we crack down and get to business and when we have fun. I usually read a story after lunch to help the kids calm down and cool off, but on Thursday, almost half the class was in trouble during lunch recess, so we came into the classroom and I let them have it. "We are a team" is how I treat every classroom. There will always be students who listen and respect me no matter what and there will be kids that won't listen to or respect me, but my point is that we have to work together. When we do a good job, we get rewarded and when a few of us get off track, we all work harder to do a good job and to teach the others how to behave and respect each other.
On Friday, I came in a little more strict than usual. I figure that it's just like the beginning of school and I have to show them that I mean business. Once we smooth out our schedule and more students follow directions, I can loosen up a bit. Of course, that will probably be during the last week of school! Ha ha ha. I've got sixteen weeks to get these kids in shape and some I'm not worried about and others it's a real challenge.
What I learned this week is that I am so happy to be in this classroom and at this school. I have never felt more welcome or appreciated. The classroom has gone from a junk yard, to almost ideal. It's a large classroom and it seems to be getting larger as the clutter is moved out.
I received a letter from a student on Thursday and I just have to share it because it just warms my heart:
Dear Ms. Cowan,
Ms. Cowan I LOVE you because you gave us some stickers and some candies and we love you because you are nice and so skinny and I like you because we all like to play stop sign game and when all the chidrens are talking I can't hear you because everyone are loud and some of the boy's was screaming at mea and I want B to be CHAMPS, but not just B I want everyone to be CHAMPS too and you let us read a book and you gave us just one homework and it's math and I love math and it's so so easy to do it beacause I know plus, minus, and ex and I will rited on the bottom.

She went on to write about 20 addition, subtraction and a few multiplication problems. I just love it! I hear I Love You at least once a day and as I said to one of the aids, "Who needs a boyfriend, when I hear I love you every day?"

I'm excited for the next week to begin and I'm hoping to do so many great things with this class. I meet their parents next week, which will be great. Although, some parents will have to hear that their child is not cutting it and might have to do first grade again.

I have to add, that with all this excitement, I have also realized that our public school systems in California are failing us and the communities that have no other schools to go to. More to come next time...

Day 1

Today was my first day back in the classroom, which I subbed in about two weeks ago. If you don't remember, I stepped in for a teacher who was severely depressed and unable to teach her class. I was there for two weeks and then she returned. I was not surprised to receive a phone call from the principal last Friday. I had a job for Friday and Monday, so today was my first day back. I have to admit that I wasn't sure what the room would look like. I had heard that the teacher wasn't happy with how we had arranged the room and that she had parents helping her throw things away, only to change her mind minutes later and ask them to put everything back.
So, I turned the key and...to my surprise...very little was changed. The kids still sat in the same seats, the writing assignment that I had them do was still on the closet doors, the jobs were still the same, and the classroom was still a mess! I can't tell you how welcome I feel at this school. The other first grade teachers are offering their help, the principal gave me the run-down of everything when I first came in, and my teacher's aide is wonderful.
When the bell had rung and the kids were lined up, I walked outside to be greeted with "hurray" and "she's back." It just sent chills through my body. I was happy to be back with this class and they seemed so excited to see me. It's such a shame that they couldn't feel that way about their own teacher. Of course, they asked me throughout the day how long I would be there, even though I told them first thing this morning that I would be their new teacher for the rest of the year. I guess that first-graders aren't really sure what that means.
I immediately put them right to work and we had a pretty smooth day. I think in a week or two, they'll definitely be where I want them as far as behavior. Academically, it will take some of them a lot longer. My goal, which I expressed to them, is that by the end of the year, every one of them will read better. I've got about 16 weeks to make that happen!
Tuesdays are a short day, banked time for teachers for professional development or grade-level articulation. Luckily, today was a grade-level meeting and all the other 1st grade teachers offered to help me clean the room. What an amazing group of people. We got so much done in about 45 minutes. I stayed another 45 just to get a few more things in order. The room still isn't where I'd like it, but two bulletin boards can be seen and an entire table was cleared off. Teachers are natural pack-rats, but some are just out of control!
I'm so glad to be back with this class, it's almost as if I have a class of my own again!

Holy Hormones!!!!

Who knew that a fifth grade classroom would be filled with such raging hormones. Kids are starting EVERYTHING so much earlier than they did when I was a kid. The passing notes is nothing new and teasing each other about someone liking someone else isn't new. I've seen some of that in second and third and fourth grade, but other conversations just go beyond what I'm prepared for. They're talking about going on dates and people who they know that have had kids already....some at 12 and 13! I just couldn't believe my ears.
Luckily, the rest of the day was less shocking. I was back in a class that I'd been to before and the kids genuinely seemed happy to see me. I am the "nice" substitute, but honestly because I want to be and only if the class treats me with respect. I think that many classes would be shocked to see me get really angry. Luckily, that doesn't happen very often and I'd rather stay calm and collected throughout the day anyways. The nice thing is that I say what I have to say about not talking when I'm talking and that I'll stay "nice" as long as the class is nice to me and then as the day progresses and the same few people talk, the students in the class do the yelling for me.
The class that I was in today is a great class and relatively small for a fifth grade class (25 students). It's very refreshing and slightly easier to teach in. I was getting frustrated by the same five students and realized after lunch that I would threaten them with detention. It's a valid threat because I would be willing to keep them in at recess even if it means not having a break, myself. Luckily, they brought better behavior in with them after lunchtime. And the kids aren't bad, they just talk and talk and talk and at times when it's just not necessary.
One of the things that really brightened my day was right after lunch. No matter what grade level I am in, I really like to read to the class after lunch. It gives them time to settle down and relax and it honestly keeps them quiet for 10-15 minutes. I found a book in this class when I was there last week and it's got me hooked as much as the kids. They loved hearing the story and didn't want me to stop reading it to them. It warms my heart that these kids like the story. I keep telling kids of all ages that reading is fun, as long as you find a book that you like. So, the kids like the book so much that we quickly got their homework together and I read to them for the last 7 minutes of the day. After school, two girls came up to me and asked where I bought the book. I just love it! I can't wait to read more to them tomorrow!

A Small Difference...

...I feel like ever since I entered the teaching world, there have been so many roadblocks. The politics in business are ridiculous, but even more so in the education world. I wish that I could carry around a hidden camera and audio recorder (I obviously wouldn't for privacy reasons) to capture all of the crazy things that I see and hear. I feel like most of the country has no idea what is going on with education. And I guess that my frustration is mostly on the education system in California, since other states seem to have it figured out. Yes, our country has major financial problems, but why is it okay to put more money into prisons and not into education. Don't people understand that if we rob people of an education, they'll possibly end up robbing everyone else and end up in prison anyway. Granted this definitely isn't the case for everyone, but I see a direct correlation between education and crime.
Despite all these roadblocks that I've been faced with, it dawned on me yesterday that it is my destiny to teach. It sounds so cheesy and cliche, but I truly feel.
I was at a school for two weeks and managed to touch many lives. I care about what I do and the people who I work with, whether it be for a day, a week, or an entire school year. I am passionate about what I do and continue to find ways to be better. I was at a school yesterday and was in a few different classrooms throughout the day, so that teachers could attend meetings. I love doing this because I get to see more classrooms, make more connections with teachers, and even observe great teaching going on. I think that one of the best ways to become a better teacher is to observe other teachers. There are many good teachers, but it's so uplifting to see GREAT teachers in work. It really is an art-form and one that I wish more people could appreciate and know more about.
A friend was telling me about a lawsuit regarding a couple of schools in a nearby area. Apparently, because of budget cuts, they had to let go of a lot of teachers and so many that they didn't have enough to teach all the classes. So, they were cycling through substitutes to take care of the classes. Now, this may be shocking and appalling to a lot of people, but what they don't know is how common this is and how it's taking place in so many schools, even good schools. I wouldn't want to slander the name of great schools that I love because it really isn't their fault. Who's to blame then? The school district, the unions, and the state government. Too many heads are turned away, too many people care about money and not the children's education which they are being robbed of, and too many people don't know how bad it is in education. I don't have an answer, I just know that what's going on in today's schools and school districts need to be publicized.

Inspiration!!

Friday was my last day in the 1st grade class. I miss that class already. It doesn't take much for me to become attached to a group of people, especially kids who brightened my day. It was a hard day for me. Being around kids, I don't feel that I should show the depth of my emotions. I know that it's been a traumatic year for them and they really should be happy to have their real teacher back, but I know that we were on a good track and I felt that I was reaching a lot of the students. Even though it was sad to leave them, I have to think about the positive side: those two weeks may have been the best they had all year.

Today, I was back at a familiar school that I really like. I was in 5th grade, which sometimes can be a bit intimidating for me. These days, most of the kids are almost my height and it's hard to look mean or stern when they tower over me. This group was great. They tried to pull the usual games with substitutes like passing notes and eating candy in class, but other than that, they participated and seemed engaged in the lessons. As the day progressed, more and more students were raising their hands to offer thoughts and answers to questions. What I liked about this class, and the school in general, is the amount of help that is offered. The teachers are kind and helpful and the kids are too. They genuinely want to help each other out and unfortunately, that seems rare these days.
One student in particular caught my attention. I had noticed some notes about him, stating that he didn't turn in homework and didn't put in much effort. In the short time that I was with him, he really participated and made a valid effort. He made one comment about not being a good reader, but still raised his hand to get a turn and when he was called on, his reading was great. When we were packing up to go home, I reminded him to take his homework and he mentioned that he usually doesn't do it. I asked why and he said that his mom isn't very smart and he doesn't have anyone to help him. I told him that he was smart and knew the material in class, so that he should be able to do it on his own and that he should at least try. I won't be there tomorrow to find out if he actually does it, but he seemed like a kid who just needed someone to encourage him.
I wonder how many students get lost among the crowds in the large classrooms today. It's easy to get frustrated with the students who don't try or seem to give up, but those tend to be the kids that I focus on. I guess I'm an optimist and think that if just one person believes in them or makes the effort, the student might change and put forth more effort. This isn't always the case, but too many students lose their confidence and then give up in school. As teachers, we need to find ways to make school more interesting and valuable for kids. I just can't wait to have a class of my own again...

The End of the Road...

Image from Corey Leopold


Well, all good things come to an end, right? I got my answer about my long-term position today...
...their teacher is coming back on Monday. It's such a tough situation. The students should be with their teacher and have some structure and predictability; however, their teacher doesn't seem to have done that for them, and in my opinion, she shouldn't be coming back. Why can't people recognize when it's time to slow down and take a break? If she took a leave of absence until the end of the year, she'd have more time to recover and be able to come back in a better state.
In the short time that I've been with these students, I've seen a lot of growth and a lot of potential in them. It's so sad to think that this could all fall to pieces. I hope for the best, but my gut tells me, based on comments that I've heard, that this teacher will come back, fall apart again, and then I'll be called back. Unfortunately, the damage is already done. The kids are traumatized, they have trust issues and they've just become accustomed to my routines.
Tomorrow will be a hard day for us all. I can only hope for the best. Maybe their teacher is ready or maybe their parents will fight for their education, who knows. This too, was a learning process, and my confidence has been built again. I've received a lot of positive feedback and know that I will be called back to sub in other classes at this school.
I just become more and more disheartened with the public school system...
If only more people were aware of the tragedies that happen every day...

In harm's way!

Image from Thorsten Becker


The title of this blog can be applied to a few different circumstances...
I decided that today would be the day that I would ask about my long-term position. When it was offered to me, my last day was supposed to be Friday, February 19th. I've heard different rumblings through the hallways and figured that I should go straight to the source, so I stopped by the principal's office this morning. She seemed to be on the same page that I was without saying too much. The kids are making progress, they are used to me, and their teacher is probably not ready to come back, even if she wants to. However, we go back to the good 'ole unions (hear the sarcasm in my voice). The teacher is covered and if she wants to come back, she can, even if she is unintentionally harming the kids by coming back, then leaving, or even worse, coming back and making them sit in the dark, without lunch, and listen to her play the piano or lecture them about God for hours.
These kids have been through so much and have so much promise. It really saddens me to think that I might only have two more days with them.
I had a wake-up call this morning, as I took the students on a bathroom break. One student, who is quiet and very well-mannered told me that her older brother is in jail. This part wasn't too shocking because the areas where I usually sub are gang-ridden and of a lower-economic status. What surprised me was that her brother didn't go to jail for selling drugs, but because he killed someone. To hear these words come out of the mouth of a six-year old and in such a matter of fact way, just shocked me. Of course, I kept my straight face and told her that that was sad and then moved on. What these kids live through and really have nothing to compare it to. At the age of 30, I still don't know anyone who has gone to jail for killing anyone, and hope that I never do.
On to more bright and more appropriate things for a 1st-grader to say, here's my quote of the day:

"I think that his name is Homer because he liked to do homework"
(This was in response to a sentence that I had on the board. The students weren't familiar with the name, even with The Simpsons, and I guess the student thought that Homer sounded very close to homework.....I just love it!)

Image from Spinmoss1


After a refreshing three-day weekend, I was excited to return to my 1st grade classroom that has begun to feel like a home. The piles of junk around the room don't feel as welcoming, but I'm not being paid to clean up, so I'm trying to focus on the little areas that are clean.
The class is really coming together, which is very surprising, since I've only been there for a little over a week. It's amazing what routines can do for kids. Even the very challenging student is behaving better. Plus, I think that I found a reward system that she is excited about, so that's helping. This group of kids is so warm, I get hugs throughout the day, and they really want to learn.
My gut is telling me that their teacher will return on Monday, as planned, but I know that it's not the right thing for these students. I just know that a few days or weeks will pass and then they might call me again to fill in. Unfortunately, as soon as I'm gone for a while, I'll have to start all over again when I return and the poor kids will be even more damaged. I also don't want to go back to the uncertainty of where I'll be working and when.
I do miss my days full of crafts, but teaching kids is much more rewarding.
One quote that I'd like to share from last week came from a student at a totally unexpected time and every time that I think about it, it makes me giggle:
"You're such a great teacher because you are nice and SKINNY!"
I love that to kids, someone who is skinny MUST be a good teacher.....ha ha ha.

I can feel the love!

I can remember being shocked by the generosity during Valentine's Day, last year. This year, I had very little expectations, as I've only been in the classroom for 6 days and I'm sure very few of the parents know who I am. Plus, the students have seen so many substitutes this year, that they probably figure that I'm just there for a short time. But, to my surprise, a few students brought me chocolate, valentine's teacher cards (the small ones with stickers or tattoos), or even soap and lotion from bath and body works.
I felt so appreciated and so loved. I wasn't sure what to give the kids, so I just brought cookies, but that was more than enough for them and they were so excited that I brought them something.
I also had another thing brighten my day. When I told the students that Monday was a holiday and that I would see them again on Tuesday, one student said that he wanted to stay at school and not go home. I love it! The kids are learning so much, even in just a week. Two students that seemed very low academically when I walked in a week ago, have tried so hard and have made such incredible improvements. More and more I hope to be in this classroom for a long time. I feel badly for their teacher, but she needs to get better and her students need the education that they deserve.
I should know more about the length of my stay next week. Let's hope for the best!