Here's to Hope!

So what does a substitute teacher do when school isn't in session?
Well, just about anything that doesn't require too much money.
It's definitely been a crazy year for me. The beginning seemed hopeful with the signing of a teaching contract, but that hope didn't last too long. Lay-off threats were waiting for all the teachers when we returned from our winter break. Rumors changed almost daily. At one point, the small school that I worked at was going to lose six, fantastic teachers, but by the end of the year, it was just lucky me that was let go. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad that the other teachers were able to stay, but it was hard to leave a school that I loved and felt so much a part of. The school year had it's challenges inside the classroom too, with about four behavior problems. I am a very resourceful person and very, very patient, but after eight months with the same issues, I was beginning to lose my cool. I now understand why teachers need three months off in the summer - to gain their sanity back!
I spent the summer with some relaxation time, a part-time summer job (which brought a summer romance), and the other time was spent looking at job opportunities (zero). By September, I had filed for unemployment and began the waiting game. Luckily, my old school began calling me at least once a week to substitute in various classes. I have now become known as the IEP substitute. Almost every Tuesday, the school holds Individualized Education Plan meetings for struggling students. I basically cover the classes of the teachers who attend these meetings with the parents of their struggling student, the psychologist, RSP teacher, and assistant principle. It was nice to know that I would have work on Tuesdays, at least.
I'm someone who likes structure and schedules and predictability and this past year, I've been learning to live with the unknown. Unemployment isn't as easy as I thought it would be, nor as reliable. Luckily the checks come just when I need them. I don't always feel stressed, but sleeping has become harder and motivation (especially getting out of bed in the morning) has decreased.
What I have learned to spend my time doing, when not in the classroom, is to create. I find that making something helps to cure the hunger for productivity and purpose. I started my own ETSY shop in November (http://www.etsy.com/shop/Cowanscreations), selling fleece blankets and hand-knit scarves. I've yet to have my first sale, but I am hopeful!
So, with the new year approaching, I have lots of hope for 2010 - hope for a full-time job, hope for love, and hope that things will get better for all of us, because most people who I talk to agree that 2009 was not the best of years.

Happy Holidays!

Last week was a great week and I was so busy working and getting ready for the holidays that I didn't have any time to write. I spent Monday, Thursday, and Friday in a Special Day class, Tuesday in 2nd grade, and Wednesday in 5th grade. I was at the same school all week, my most favorite school, in fact. I was happy to be there during their holiday program, which turned out just fabulous. There was so much thought and effort put into costumes, choreography, and the singing. It nearly brought tears to my eyes, which let me know that I will definitely be THAT parent who cries when their child performs. Oh goodness!!!
I also got to take part in a holiday party on Friday, which was pretty much just eating, relaxing, and putting on a movie. I was so exhausted, but so happy to have worked all week.
I know that something cute happened each day, but a few things really stuck with me: Last year I had a student that definitely struggled the entire year. His mom was very involved and we spoke often. I felt like I had tried everything, but this student just couldn't stay focused and wasn't catching on to any of the material. This year, he was placed in the special day class and watching him now, it was such a great change. He still has trouble focusing at times, but his demeanor is more relaxed and he is really learning a lot. I saw his mother one day last week and she said to me that she felt like it was a good decision to place him in the special day class and that she was glad that I could be part of the meeting, where we made the recommendation. It really touched me. I always want to find what's best for any child and it was nice to know that his mom recognized that I really cared (and knew what I was doing).
On Tuesday, in second grade, I had so much fun. Some of my former students are in that class and I just love hearing them say, "We did that last year, or, remember when we did that?" It's so cute and it really hits home, that we remember so much of what happens in elementary school. I really like seeing my former students. I miss creating those bonds in a classroom. I really hope that things get better next year.
Spending time in different classrooms and in different grade levels has really inspired me and given me a lot of great ideas to use in my future classroom.
I now have three weeks off, but it won't really be a vacation because I will be updating my resume, and trying to come up with a plan for work next year. I will also be working on blankets, scarves, and pillows to sell on my etsy page.
I'm hoping for great things in the new year! It's going to be a great one, I just know it.

Pleasantly Surprised!

As the holidays come closer, the calls to substitute dwindle. I'm not surprised because who needs time off when they're about to have three weeks of vacation. Anyways, I was happy to receive two calls last night to substitute on different days. I usually sleep better knowing when and where I'll be working the next day, but lately, I've had crazy dreams instead of waking up every hour or so, as I do when I'm not sure if I'll work or not the next day.
For some reason, I have this fear of an uncontrollable classroom and my dreams constantly remind me of this.
I definitely did not have an uncontrollable classroom today, but I was in a new situation. I've been in every grade from K-5th, but I've never been in Pre-k. I expected the students to be super young and needy, but to my surprise, they were more polite and well-mannered than a lot of students older than them. I started to wonder why it is that students are reminded to do the same things from K-5th and sometimes they still don't get it. Take for example, lining up to leave the classroom. Seems simple, right? Well, it would take a lot time and yelling and trying to do it over again in my 1st grade last year and it was like that the entire year. One would think that even after a week or two of having to line up over and over again that it would get easier. The Pre-k did a great job, both the morning and afternoon group, of lining up, saying thank you, finding their seats, and pushing in chairs. The students were really cute and I had to ask a few of them if they had siblings at that school because the family resemblances were so strong.
I didn't have any crazy events and barely had to raise my voice. One student in the A.M. group was quite hyperactive, but nothing too crazy.
I left feeling confident, but also missing having my own classroom. I just love being around kids and wish that I could be building stronger relationships with them. I really hope that things get better next year!

TGIF

Thank goodness it's Friday! I was up late last night and filled with anxiety about whether the phone would ring in the morning and where I would be sent to substitute. I think that I woke up at least three times in the middle of the night. I had crazy dreams, one of which involving a fire and another in a swimming pool (fear and emotion?). My alarm went off at 6:00 a.m. and I hit snooze. The second time that it came on, I lay in bed wondering how long I could wait to get ready for work or if I should just wait in bed until my phone rang. Well, at 6:30, I was pretty much awake because of all the thoughts that were filling my mind. I lay there until 7:00, when I realized that I probably wasn't getting called. I then slept until almost 10:00, but still feel tired because of the restless night of sleep. Despite not working, I've been very productive with decorating my place for Christmas. I am looking forward to a weekend of sleeping in and a lot less anxiety!

A Boost of Confidence

A Good Day!

As a substitute, you never know if you'll have a good day or a very frustrating one. I think this is why I choose to take jobs from my prior school. I know most of the kids and they understand that I'm a pretty easy-going teacher. I used to be intimidated by the older grades because a lot of the kids are bigger than I am, but after two days in two different fifth grade classrooms, I have a boost of confidence. Yesterday, I was in a gate class, so there was great conversations and questions being asked. And I was surprised by how easily I could reach the students. Two students had chosen not to do their homework, so when I called them out in class, in a very matter of fact way, they were easily embarrassed. My intentions wasn't to embarrass them, but to make them realize that they were hurting themselves by making poor choices. The homework really wasn't that difficult and it wouldn't have taken much time either. Today, I wasn't in a gate class, but a class that was very respectful. They were so quiet throughout most of the morning, that I was afraid to compliment them and have them immediately get more noisy. And even though they were quiet, the majority of them were engaged and participating in the lesson. I would definitely be annoyed if they were quiet and checked-out. What tickled me today was when I got the big question about my age. I definitely look younger than I am and talk to the students at their level, plus, I'm on the shorter side. So, I had them guess and they came up with all sorts of silly ages. When I finally told them my age, the one student who had originally asked told me that he was surprised because I talked like I was younger. His question was because I used the word, "yeah." I'm sure that I'm not the only adult that uses that word, but I guess that kids are always surprised when an adult, especially a teacher, uses the same language that they do. I told the class that it still surprises me that, as an adult, I still feel like a kid.
Another thing that really made my day, was a note that I received from one of the students. At the end of the day, she brought me a hand-written note, telling me that I was the best substitute that they had ever had and that she couldn't wait for me to substitute their class again. It's one of the things that I really enjoy about being around kids, they are so honest. They can definitely be honest in telling you that there is a zit in the middle of your forehead, but they are also so appreciative. And I think this is why I find it hard to substitute at new schools. At my old school, the kids know me, and I constantly have students saying hello to me. It just brightens my day...
So, tomorrow, I'm not sure where I'll be and at this point, I'm already stressing about my morning. I just hope that it is a school that is somewhat nearby.

A Day in the Life of a Substitute Teacher

Two years ago I completed my schooling to become an elementary school teacher. I had spent five years working in another industry, but just didn't feel that it was right for me. I received my credential in December, which I saw as an opportunity to search out different schools while working as a substitute teacher. It took almost two months to get processed in two different school districts and my first assignment put me in a class that had been run by various substitutes throughout the year. Needless to say, it was quite the challenge, but one that I began to embrace and find some rewards in. Well, 30 days in, the school district decided that they didn't want to provide benefits or long-term pay to me and sent me out the door. I was disheartened and really felt bad for the kids. I also decided that a district that didn't put the students first was not one that I wanted to work for. So, I primarily worked in the second district. That district seemed to treat me well and in the fall, I had a full-time teaching position. Of course there were many hurdles that first few months, besides being a first-year teacher, such as being paid correctly, getting a contract signed, filing for benefits (which I never ended up receiving), etc. I also had quite a challenging class, but one that I really loved. I knew that teaching was for me, when all of the obstacles didn't turn me away. That is, until I received a pink slip in March. For the last few months of school, I had a job, then I didn't, then it was looking up, and then three weeks before the end of the school year, it was official that I didn't have a job.
I, along with thousands of other laid-off teachers, was processed as a substitute teacher. Well, at least I had a job, right? I spent the summer months emailing my resume and obsessively checking job postings, but I was destined to be unemployed.
September ended up a pretty busy month, thanks mostly to my former school and a school where I did my student teaching. I felt lucky to be getting work and to see my former students and teacher friends. October slowed down a little bit and I began to get the standard morning of calls. This is where the fun has begun...
Imagine the night before not knowing a) if the phone will ring in the morning b) where you'll be called to substitute and c) if the teacher will be leaving any lesson plans. I am someone who likes control and predictability, so this already poses a problem for me. I don't sleep well the night before and I have crazy dreams about classrooms gone a rye.
So, in order to cope with the craziness and unpredictability of life, I've started a blog. The one predictable thing about subbing is that every day is unpredictable...